The point of life is not doing but being.

When I first arrived in Africa, I brought with me a lesson from an older brother in Christ, Elbert Smith. Elbert taught me that my most important task is not doing but being.  

      And he appointed twelve, that they might be with him, and that he                 might send them forth to preach, -Mark 3:14 

As 2012 began, I thought that I had this scripture figured out (complete with life application), however, I am discovering that I still have a long way to go. As I wrote about what God was teaching me in a previous post, I was learning that my greatest daily need was to be with Him. I needed to be with God daily. However, ten months into this journey, I find that my mind is flooded with thoughts of doing, not so much on being. Where does this come from? Why am I so obsessed with doing things? As I take an objective look at my culture, I see that Americans come from a performance driven society. I remember my days as a forklift driver just north of Memphis. Third shift was not my forte, however, I did like working with less traffic in the warehouse. Yet, my performance grade, as calculated by the big computer, was not the best. As a man, I struggle with finding my value in life in what I do. If I do a good job, people like me, and think well of me. If my work is sloppy and poor, then people think less of me, even my self-perception is too often defined by my performance. But the truth of the faith that I affirm is not inline with my cultural beliefs. I am loved by God not because of the work that I do for Him, but because I am His son. 

Honestly, I like doing more than being. Doing makes me feel important. There are days in Kaabong when God says to me, "Robert, today I want you to just focus on being with me," my response; "Is that all?" What a poor view I have of my own sonship!